After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
