I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
