No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
