Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The best revenge is premature balding
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
