the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
