So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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