Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
