I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
3 2 1 whiskey
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
