U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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