I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
