My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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