Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
