you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
