I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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