Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize