I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
