the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
