And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
