things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
