marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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