so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
