chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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