Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
