I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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