11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize