He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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