You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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