two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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