Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have already put on my inside pants.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
