My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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