You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
