I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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