well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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