4 words: hood of his car
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
