This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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