Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
