You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
