Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
