Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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