My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
