so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
