Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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