didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
