You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
