Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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