Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Use "feeling words"
Yay
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
