instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
