Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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