What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
