I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
