at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
